It can be challenging to know what to say to someone who is grieving. You might worry about saying the wrong thing or making the situation worse. It’s natural to want to comfort someone going through a tough time, but sometimes the things we say can unintentionally cause more harm than good. That’s why it’s essential to be mindful of what you say to someone grieving. Saying the right words can make a big difference in how someone feels during such a difficult time. So, what should you not say at a funeral?

“It Was Meant to Be.”

When someone close to us dies, it’s only natural to want to make sense of the tragedy. But telling someone that “it was meant to be” is rarely helpful and can often be insensitive. It can make the grieving person feel like their loss wasn’t significant or shouldn’t feel as devastated as they are. It’s important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and each person will cope with their grief in their way and on their timeline. Why is this not appropriate? It makes someone feel like their loss wasn’t significant or shouldn’t feel as devastated as they are.

“At Least He/She Is No Longer in Pain.”

While it’s true that the person who died is no longer suffering, this phrase can come across as dismissive of the grieving person’s pain. It can make them feel like their feelings are invalid or that they shouldn’t be as upset as they are. This phrase also discounts the fact that the death itself is painful, regardless of whether the deceased was in pain beforehand.

“I Know How You Feel.”

When someone you care about is grieving, it’s only natural to want to comfort them. But avoid saying “I know how you feel,” as this can be dismissive and insensitive. Even if you have experienced a similar loss, everyone grieves differently, so it’s impossible to know how others feel genuinely. Instead, you can be there for them, listen to them, and offer your support.

“He/She Is in a Better Place Now.”

While this phrase may be well-intentioned, it can make the grieving person feel like their pain is not valid or that they should be happy because the deceased is no longer suffering. It also discounts the fact that the death itself is painful, regardless of the circumstances.

“You’re Strong; You’ll Get Through This.”

Telling someone to be strong or that they’ll get through this can make them feel like they have to put on a brave face or bottle up their emotions. It’s important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and each person will cope with their grief in their way and on their timeline.

If you’re unsure what to say, it’s often best to express your condolences and offer your support. Sometimes, the most helpful thing you can do is be there for the grieving person. Listen to them, offer a shoulder to cry on, and let them know you’re available if they need anything.

“I’m Sure He/She Would Want You to Be Strong.”

Telling someone they need to be assertive can be hurtful and insensitive. It’s important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and each person will cope with their grief in their way. What one person finds helpful during their grieving process may not be helpful for another. So instead of telling the grieving person what they should or shouldn’t do, please offer your support and let them know you’re there for them.

“It Could Be Worse.”

This phrase is often said with the best intentions, but it can be insensitive and dismissive of the grieving person’s pain. It’s important to remember that each person grieves in their way and on their timeline. What one person finds helpful during their grieving process may not be helpful for another.

“Time Heals All Wounds.”

This phrase is often said with the best intentions, but it can be insensitive and dismissive of the grieving person’s pain. It’s important to remember that each person grieves in their way and on their timeline. This phrase discounts the fact that the death itself is painful, regardless of the circumstances.

“At Least You Have Other Children (Or Other Family Members, Etc.).”

This is not the right thing to say to someone who has lost a child. No matter how many children a person has, the loss of a child is a unique and painful experience. Other children or family members may not be like the deceased, and they cannot take away the pain of the loss. It’s, therefore, not an excellent phrase to say to someone who is grieving the loss of a child. The right thing to say in this situation is, “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“Let Me Know if You Need Anything.”

This may sound like a burden to the grieving person. What they need is not necessarily something you can provide, but your willingness to help and support them through their grief is appreciated. It’s often more helpful to offer specific support, such as bringing over a meal, helping with childcare, or running errands. The support plays a better role in the healing process.

“They’re an Angel Now”

They are not angels. They are human beings who have died. This is a myth that needs to be debunked. It is not helpful or comforting to grieving people, and it discounts their pain.

FAQs

What Should I Say to a Grieving Person?

There is no one right thing to say to a grieving person. Sometimes, the most helpful thing you can do is be there for them. Listen to them, offer a shoulder to cry on, and let them know you’re available if they need anything.

Conclusion

It can be challenging to find the right words to say to someone who is grieving. A grieving person deserves your compassion and understanding. They don’t need you to try to fix their pain or tell them how to grieve. Just be there for them, offer your support, and let them know you care.